i just rented myself a hot piece of meat. *sizzle sizzle*

so inadequate

no one understands. no one understands how much i wanted it. when all ambitions fails, man can only let the tears in his eyes fall hopelessly. nothing can hold it back, for nothing in his far-ahead vision is ever going to be made possible. i had passion, motif, influence and determination: the true elements of success and satisfaction, and yet it deceives me into believing that i can achieve anything. my ambition is fading fast and i stopped chasing it. people keep telling me i`ll do better, it`s not that bad. but none of them understand that i tried my best and it shows me no good. the vicious numbers written on the mundane papers takes offence by telling me my best isn`t good enough. i`m dying slowly inside, it`s draining my self-esteem. i have nothing to look forward to. i have nothing to live for, but for God. but he`s not showing me the way.