are you excited?
1 day.

Writing my PSE right now. Haha i know i spelt it SPE, but it’s PSE all along. Boy do i feel stupid. Anyway, just pulled out the PSE and saw that all i needed to do is list in point form why i’m too good for Queens and elaborate in paragraph form. Joking joking, Queen’s too nerdy for me. Anyway, I’m just drinking out from the Tropicana orange juice carton. Don’t you hate people like that? I do. But it’s not my fault mom didn’t wash the cups yet. Left me no choice, I’m not drinking out from a bowl. I was just looking at the carton, and does anyone feel the same way when i say the manufacturers pick ridiculous amounts to sell to their consumers? Like i’m drinking from a 946ml carton. Doesn’t anyone see a problem with that number?! Why not.. 900? 950? 1000?.. 940?! but 946. I’m pretty sure they didn’t add that 1ml, it’s probably 945ml. They’re too lazy to count that one mL. Damn Tropicana jipped me.

Anyway,
See the REAL irene. Ever had a conversation with her? This is what she talks about:

superpeachlady says: stop calling me a penis

superpeachlady says: i don’t even RESEMBLE a penis in any way

I have a secret wish tonight.
maybe i’ll just keep it to myself for now, I’ll wait. But never know when it’s going to come by… or pass me by.

Guys out there, you know when girls get mad at you and you ask them why they’re mad and they give you the most unappealing answer of them all: “If you don’t know, I won’t tell you” I can feel the universal nod and pain. But you know what, it actually hurts the girl more for you not knowing why they’re in pain, why you caused them pain in the first place. If it is so obvious we’re suffering, why can’t you see through us? We don’t expect you to be mind readers, but we expect you to try to care. Try to think back what has caused us to tear up like little girls, try to understand why we’re mad. But it’s worst, when you give us the answer: “I don’t know”, or “what did i do to you?” See, that just sends us to flames. You mean, I’m crying here and you don’t know why, when you’re exactly the reason why?!?! Omg….. So our next reaction would be. Well.. if you don’t know, then lets just forget it. Because obviously, what the girl has problems with.. isn’t a very big problem to the guy, or else, why wouldn’t he get it through his big thick head that there’s a problem? 

But like any other girl, the longer you dwell on the “just tell me whats wrong” the girl will crack and eventually tell you. It’s not because we’re all complete bitches and don’t want to solve things, the reason why we’re sad in the first place is because we care too much about you, and all we want is an happy ending.

But when guys are wrong, and they don’t know when they’re wrong, that’s what kills us girls.

So here i am, sobbing my nose and snorting/choking on tears like a little pig is because of what my mother said to me an hour ago. I could not believe the words that came out of her mouth, especially when it was coming from her. She should know better. So I was burning up so much that i walked away from the conversation, shouted “Mom, I can’t believe you’re telling me this, this is the worst thing anyone can ever tell me..” and just slammed the door behind me. Minutes later, I had to go downstairs (I would never go downstairs if i never had to) and she acted like everything was normal. Excuse me? Do you not hear me snorting my boogers and my nose is all red from crying? Why are you acting like nothing just happened?? She kept on asking me to read this letter for her but i just gave the silent treatment. Then she said those words: “don’t know why you’re mad. what was there to be mad about?”

what?

you don’t know what i’m mad about?… ?!?!

That’s when i realized how much it hurts… beyond the pain that has already been caused… it hurts when your loved ones don’t even know why you’re crying. It’s like a murderer pleading innocence in front of the victim.

He alone deserves my love. I’m just a prayer away. So tonight, if my brothers and sisters sees this, please.. say a little prayer, that i’ll be able to go on my knees and close my eyes and have the courage to speak. I’m just a prayer away.

The Trouble With Love Is….

I’m really not a fan of this song because it’s so pop-ish, but in light of Valentines Day and it’s arrival tomorrow, i just like to listen to these words…

Yea yea, you guys are probably bored from all my depressing slurs now. Well fine, i’ll stop then.

On a “heavier” note, i ate so much at McDonalds today. Just because I worked for so long without getting a single break and I was sooo incredibly hungry. Well check this out: (1) filet-o-fish, (3) chicken strips, (2) apple pies, and (1) small diet coke. For those that know me well and eats with me occasionally, I don’t eat alot at all. I eat like a “girl” some guys would say, but I think it’s that time of the month again. WAHAHA. I hope all the fat’s going to the right places, seriously.

8:13pm

OH yea, and just the other day, I ate a Big Mac,  Large fries, and 10 Nuggets AND a large bubble tea, while Jay just pigged out on his one Big Extra. WAHAHA WHOA NELLE!

8:34pm

(thinking) SHUT UP! I’m not fat! and I’m not a pig either…. >.<”

Came home. Smell like fries. Hands are dry from over washing them at McDonalds. (Hey, good to know that I wash my hands after I take money and then touched your burger) Hat hair. Arm hurts from some kinda shot from the doctors. Got too many movies to watch. Enjoying this song. Needing Irene to talk to, don’t want her to feel whichever way she is feeling. (Valentine where are you?) Thinking how some people are so stupid, don’t know how the world works when they’re the ones living in it. Suck up and deal. Hope school board does not go through with segregated systems who only contribute to a certain race. (ie. BLACKS) Please, just because you guys were suppressed, you don’t think the Asians did? Suck it up. We were brave enough to keep quiet about it. The smell of fries is realllyy getting to me. What’s up with photos multi day processing? Does it even matter that i come one day earlier? Oh so you lazy bastards wait till last minute to do things. Good to know. I want my photos tomorrow, asap. Feeling.. mm unappreciated.

Yea, I don’t like to show all this when I’m standing in front of you. What’s the point? Instead I put up a front and a smile, and people buy it. Good. 

BIG SIGH. Feels better. Now I’m gonna pig out something in the fridge. Had 1/4 of a Chris’s chicken strip for dinner tonight. Talking about anorexia.

Woke up with a sour taste in my mouth and a sticky film on my body. Oh haha– maybe it’s because i didn’t brush my teeth yet and i didn’t take a shower yesterday night, and yes i still smell like fries, and I just jumped into bed like that. Don’t worry, I’ll go do those two things now. Calm your nerves.

Today’s a better day. But yesterday night inflicted my mind. ;AOIWEHFAIOWEH. Irene, I need to tell you something.

4:28pm

SIU MY! LAY MM HO GUM LA. MM HO GUM SUI HAI LA. GNOR FAN LAY FROM WORK TONE LAY KING GAI LA! MMMMMMMMMMM >.<

The more i think about it, the more resentment that’s being built inside of me. I just want to write a email of hate. So she knows what bullshit she’s saying, and hurt her how she hurt me. I’m sick and tired of this shit; all my loved ones ending up hurting me one way or another and putting me through shit. Wonder why I even asked in the first place. From now on, I take care of myself. Need nobody. Ellen, keep ya head up.

8:58pm

Actually, I’m gonna keep quiet. I’m not gonna let my anger be my weapon. Not gonna let my curses be my weapon. Not gonna let my fists be my weapon. My silence will tell everything. Silence is deadly. I don’t want to be wronged, because i’ve never done anything and she’s wrong, ain’t i. Ain’t gon let her pull me down. Silence is what she’s gettin. No need to hate.