Get a cup of tea, take a seat, and while you’re at it make yourself comfortable so you can read this excerpt, because it all makes too much sense…
taken from rwyh_robynlee’s blog.
“So recently, I found out that two of my friends had become an item. It wasn’t a surprise since they had this mutual connection since the moment they met. And believe me, I have an eye for these things, especially when observing the minute details of body language. What surprised me though was that after a mere two weeks, the very sacred three words of “I love you” were already being shared between the two. It was being shared with ease and without afterthought. Now, it’s not my business to say anything because all couples reach that “stage” at different times, but I couldn’t help experiencing bewilderment over the fact that two people could be in ”love” after two weeks in a relationship, and one month of friendship overall. I could probably argue that same cliche argument of lust versus love, but in the end I’ll still feel the same way – two weeks does not equate to love. And so I couldn’t help feeling this draw-back to media. This fantasy perception blown way out of proportion in movies.
We live vicariously through the romances of what is portrayed in flash-pan romance movies where characters fall instantly in love, battle obstacles and somehow end up together in the end. Albeit, a Romeo and Juliet. The whole idea of “love at first sight” has baffled me. Everyone has their own perception or personal definition of what love is, when in relation to family, friends or their significant other. But I always believed that the issue of love takes time. It takes commitment.It takes trust. It takes faith. It would take EVERYTHING (the dictionary definition, the love doctor definition, the best friend definition, the WHOLE NINE YARDS) before those three words would have significant meaning. Relationships dispel vulnerability – these ”walls” from both sides, but the actualization of love comes when you take each other’s hands and break down your walls together. You are each willing to take that step and help each to other grow and become better individuals - overlooking the faults, giving chances where they are deserved.
When I was young and naive, a girl experiencing her first boyfriend in elementary school, saying those words came without burden. I watched Zack say it to Kelly on Saved by the Bell and thought that it would just be as easy. And for the most part, it was always like an obligation. I love you. You love me. But the deep, significant, spiritual meaning behind it was missing. It was nothing but reciprocation, often started by the naive girl herself. Essentially, it lacked the kind of love that’s pure, deep and fully conceptualized. The kind of love that I would see shared between my sister and Justin, who have this solidifying bond of marriage. The kind I would see locked between my best friend Jo and her boyfriend Pat, now together for almost eight years. It’s like the love that sam has mentioned often in his Xanga – the love where you cannot live without the person, the love where you perceive another’s faults but look past without forethought. And so I find it kind’ve wasteful that after two weeks, some couples can dispel these words with such ease during their “honeymoon phase” without realizing their sacredness. I’m not saying this because I haven’t experienced love – I know I have, but because it’s the same cycle I see over and over again. Maybe I’ve been naive up to the point that I finally realized that this cycle exists.
Over the extent of a day, a really affectionate “newbie”couple will use the words maybe 20-30 times a day. After a short or substantial period of time when that phase is over and they begin to experience some hard times (God forbid, even a break up), they become pensive in an adverse way. I’ve had so many friends ask themselves the question, ”if the other person loved me why would he or she do this(?)”, in accordance to certain actions or disagreements. It’d be like a punch to the face. The cycle would have it that if the couple breaks up and the next person comes along, this whole “I love you” business arises again. And the same hurt feelings are developed in the end.
You can never know when the “one” will come. Setting yourself up to be so vulnerable just seems foolish, though at times it may feel right to feel a certain way. Sometimes it might feel so right to say the words, to profess them and feel it to the deepest extent, but if the heart, time and commitment are not in it…then maybe we should just stick to “I like you”. And give a hug…because hugs are good. “
