Month: December 2006

  • TOTGA.


    I saw TOTGA on the bus the other day. I didn’t even know TOTGA goes to my school. I haven’t talked to him since God knows when. This is what I said when I saw him come on the bus:


    “HOLY SHIT, IT’S TOTGA!” Yeah, that’s kind of sad. I actually said “totga” and not his real name.


    For the whole bus ride, I tried to sneak a glimpse of him by looking back. But I would be so scared that he would recognize me, so I would quickly turn back around and hide under my coat.


    That bastard left me hanging since that day — That is why he is still TOTGA.


    ________________


    Asian Curse.


    Yes, I have it. The cute bartender named PJ kept on making fun of my “asian curse” tonight. K, S, C and I went to the Underground and got some drinks to celebrate THE END OF PHYSICS. Now tell me, what the hell was I thinking in the first place? I’m so glad I never have to crack open another science textbook ever again. If I become interested in science again, just slap me across the face and  it’ll be enough to remind me of the pain of reading a science textbook.


    Back to what I was saying…


    So yeah, PJ came over to check on us ladies, to see if our drinks were good. Yeah, they’re alright. Then he leaned in and said this:


    “Somebody here at this table has an Asian curse, I’m not going to say who, but they do.”


    Well, assuming that my other girlfriends are all black, that would have to be me!! I swear, my face got so red, I was trying to hide behind the menu, but PJ caught me.


    Before we left, we said our goodbyes to PJ for making awesome drinks for us.


    PJ: “So, you got smashed tonight.”
    SAN: “What? Look buddy, you’re ASIAN too. I bet you turn red as hell when you drink.”
    PJ: “No, I actually don’t.”
    SAN: “Liar.”
    PJ: “Okay fine, you’re SUPER ASIAN then.”


    Xangans, I want to know if there is a cure for the Asian curse. If I drink more, will I be less prone to turning into a tomato? If this is how it goes, why the hell do I need blush? Just have a shot of vodka every morning, and I’ll have colour on my face.


    ___________________


    BFF.


    I called J tonight and I told him what I did. He wasn’t very happy with it, and for the very first time, he expressed his anger at the subject (oh my frikken god, I never thought guys CARED!!!!). Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever made J passionately angry at something, he’s always non-chalant about everything.


    I told him that his anger is what I felt about what he does sometimes. Welcome to my world J. So I decided to find a middle ground for us. I told him:


    “J, there are times when I don’t quite understand why you do the things you do, and there are times when you don’t understand what I’m trying to do. But I think the best we can do together, as good friends, is to make sure that we are always here for each other, and that we stick by each other for support no matter what happens. We may be making mistakes, and we don’t see it for ourselves, but we see it for each other. But that’s okay, we always learn. Just make sure you don’t let the anger and pride eat up our friendship. Promise?”


    He hesistantly promised.



  • Celebration.


    Last day of Fall classes at York, what’s a girl gotta do? DRINK, DANCE AND CELEBRATE. Three months of straight studying has deprived me of any social interaction. This is the time to make up for it.


    - 2 Kahluas w/ Milk
    - 1 Amaretto
    - 1 Sex on the Beach
    - 1 Coke w/ mostly Rum
    - .5 Barcadi w/ Orange Juice
    - .5 Ceasar


    I wish my alcohol tolerance could handle more. But nonetheless, “tipsy” is the farthest I will ever go, because when a girl gets drunk — It’s a total turn off, let alone the smell and the puke.


    I realized that depending on my mood, I can either be a) a silent drunk who will stare into the void and contemplates about life or b) a direct, i’m-going-to-tell-you-what-I-think drunk.


    I was in the “let loose” mode today and b) was how I felt. I remember getting really tipsy and started talking to this annoying guy who decided to randomly sit himself and eat at our table. Everyone wanted to kill him because he just wouldn’t stop talking about random stupidness. I remember telling him out of the blue, “You know, you’re good looking, but your intellect is just not there. You’re just a boy right now, not a man. Give it some years.” After a long pause, “Oh hold on, are you easily offended by any chance, because i’m just telling the truth.” He said he wasn’t offended, but you know he was, because he was acting immature about it. So for him to redeem himself, he lied about him being drunk before when he was talking to us and then he started a conversation with me about philosophy. I asked him, “who’s your favourite philosopher?” He couldn’t answer me straight up. What an idiot. Good looking — for nothing.


    _________________


    D,M and I keep wondering what’s that verse from JT’s “My Love” song…


    You can be my baby
    Gonna make you my lady
    Girl you amaze me


    D and M: There!. Now we can PROPERLY sing along to the song in the car.


    _________________


    It Made Me Rethink About Giving Birth.


    Ladies and Gentlemen, here you are…



    No, the red is not the colour of the rose. There isn’t any colour intended in this tattoo. The redish colour is the bruising from the tattoing. What the hell was he doing to my ass?





    M, thanks for lending your two hands for me to squish in times of pain.

  • Infidelity.


    I had a dream yesterday night. Hence, the leading title of this entry — Yes, it was about cheating. They say that while you’re asleep, so is your ego and your Id starts to resurface and you dream about all your desires and fears. I dreamed of this guy (which his name will not be mentioned) and he tried to ask me to either be his benefit buddy or along the same lines of “cheating”. I remember he tried to kiss me and I pushed him away. I also remember distinctly that I used my rational-faculty of my brain and ran through everything that I have now that I hold and cherish, including the man that I’m dating. I thought it just would not be right. I care enough for this man, to choose not to cheat. And so, “temptation” man quickly walked out my door, and I was happy to shoo him away.


    This isn’t the first time these dreams has happened. But every single time, I would push cheating away. I think my father has traumatized me for life. If I can’t even do it in my dreams, there’s no way in hell I would do it when I’m awake, living my life.


    Xangans, what’s your take on fantasies and dreams? Do you think they tend to draw something out in real life, like real desires and fears that are regularly suppressed when we’re awake? What if you cheated on your lover in your dreams, does it mean that you have a higher chance of doing so in reality?


    _________________


    Was listening to this song in D’s car. I love this song. It’s long, but the interlude at the end is the best part. So listen to the full track!

    What Goes Around / Comes Around Interlude – Justin Timberlake