Ahhh! It’s so beautiful outside!! The snow is melting, the ice is melting, the birdies are coming back and I hear the river stream flowing near my house. My heart is skipping!! I haven’t felt this happy in a very long time. Spring time is almost here!! Come on ladies (well, and gents too), let’s get our flip flops ready to go…
Count your blessings.
And I’ll say it again, it’s such a beautiful day today here in Toronto!
No Fine Prints. I don’t believe in fine prints. I offer up everything I have to give right at the beginning, right there on the table. No misconceptions, no ambiguity. And maybe that’s one of my downfall too. People read me way too easily, and most of the time they are right because I leave no space for guessing. That leaves me highly vulnerable, for anybody to take advantage of. I hate assumptions. Why not just know the truth to begin with and proceed from there? What games are you thinking of playing? I don’t like playing games, because games are for people who are insecure and have time to play it. I don’t have time for that. I just know that I would step out as the stronger party (and with dignity) for not engaging in these games. “It is what it is”, I would tell the other person. No lies, no misunderstanding. Don’t read between the lines or go looking for words that are smaller than life. Read my every word. I meant every single one of them. If you were being true to me to begin with, you didn’t have to keep a record of all your lies… _______________
I Was Just Reading Back On My Entries…
… and I came across one of the poems that I wrote in highschool. It’s a type of poetry called “spoken word”. Spoken word is a revival of an ancient African art form. It usually contains a political message or a theme that people advocate strongly about. Dave Chapelle hosts these ‘spoken word’ gags in NYC. If you have the time, you should YouTube it or something.
Let’s see if you can pick out what I was trying to advocate.
SPOKEN WORD – untitled
(Writer’s Craft ~ 2004)
It takes me by the hand and swings me around
to mess around with my vision
to put me in a mission
in a full emulation
for its existence, and it’s presence
disgusts me
makes me hurl
to see how people unfurl
in a world
such as ours
sure we can go far
without it, we can still go like a dart
but I just want to part
in a evil like this
don’t you get the gist?
in the mist
of this deadly kiss?
sure it shines for you
and rhymes for you
and people know who you are with it
fine green eyes looking out for you
but tell me, does it cure the blues?
when you feel like a foo, and have no boo,
to straighten out those empty tears bouncin off your shoes
It makes us all go crazy, hazy,
maybe even steal, lie, do all these bad things for it
When we are wounded, do we patch our selves in it’s filth?
No, humanity heals with love, as soft as silk
Mothers and babies in welfare,
don’t even have enough for bus fare
but do they care, they have each other to share
they have each other’s trust to wear
on their backs
we’re like a nutshells, ready to crack
that’s a fact
cause we all see stars, when we see its’ luster
we make it seem like it compensates
for our fates
and bates us out from our bothers
vigor in my advocacy
I’m talking about, those paper greens
that we call money
My Sweetie Pies.
They caught “Jack” the rabbit outside of the school yard.
Secret_agent_nelle: “Jelani, what type and colour of hair do you want to put on your mask?”
Jelani: “A doo rag”
Secret_agent_nelle: “Uh, Jelani, a doo rag is not a “type of hair”…”
Jelani: “Nawww it is min.”
I love these kids. They remind me of how and where I grew up. Devin taught me how to do the heel and toe today. They dance to anything. They’re so happy despite of all their family dysfunctionalities. I love them.
____________
Where are you now?
As I’m swimming through the stereo,
I’m writing you a symphony of sounds
…and I can’t get to you.
BEEAAU-TI-FULLL DAY.
It’s such a beautiful day in Toronto.
When I become a teacher in two years, I will put this comic up on the overhead every morning to remind my students that there’s more to life than just academia. Ironic, I know. But life is full of paradoxes that we must learn from.
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First Date Signs He’s A Keeper
#3: His cell is off.
Unless he’s an on-call surgeon or volunteer fireman, that Nokia should be nowhere in sight. “If he takes casual calls during your date, he has other priorities, and you may always come in second,” warns Daniels. Ask yourself this: Do you want to get involved with a guy who can’t go two hours without talking to his broker? Or his buddies? Or his ex?
For sure, lots of us take calls 24/7. But that’s why a guy’s refusal to text or yak during your date is so telling. “It implies you are more important than a random call, and he wants to be fully present for your night out,” says Daniels. Bottom line: He’s not the kind of guy who’s always hoping for better plans to come along.
Hmm. That used to be my pet peeve, guys who pick up their phones on dates. However, recently I’ve noticed that I let it slide. Just aslong it is not a call from a cheatee or that it lasted 30 minutes and suddenly I’ve become totally oblivious, I have actually come to an understanding for guys to pick up the phone while they are with me.
But if they do turn off their cellphones, they are either:
1) a psycho that is MADLY in love with you
2) has no friends, thus no friends to call him on his cell
3) a cheap bastard. Only turns on his cell during free-minutes
4) truly respects you as a person, and devotes his time to the date.
I think I prefer number 4. But caaammm on, what are the chances of me bumping into a guy like THAT.
I don’t know girls, what do you think? Don’t you think it’s kind of bitchy to just get all pissed off at him after a 2 minute phone call — from his boss? I mean, come on, the world doesn’t revolve around you… Be honest, what do you do when your boyfriend picks up the phone on a date? How do you act?
Dear Heart:
Shut the fuck up.
I hate it when you blubber.
Shut. Up. Heart.
My heart is blue today.
I’ve been burning it with an excess consumption of cinnamon hearts.
My tongue can’t feel now, too much cinnamon.
But the heart still bleeds, bleeds.
What do you do when your heart bleeds. Hit it? Eat ice cream? Find a healer? Shop til you drop? Fuck it? Drown it with alcohol? I want to know what you do to ease the pain.
Damn, I’ve been tagged…
I’m too superstitious to ignore this.
So here it is.
6 Weird Things About Me:
1. I fold my garbage. I have to make sure that my garbage will fit efficiently into the garbage can, so that it will take the least amount of space in the garbage can to allow more volumn in each garbage bag — ultimately more garbage in each garbage dump. In the grand scale, less energy is wasted in the process of sanitary causes. Yes, I am a greenpeace activist. Well, at least I try. Leaky faucets break my heart.
2. I finish every piece of rice in my bowl. As a child, this auntie once told me that the amount of rice left in your bowl reflects the face of your future husband. The more rice, the uglier. The less rice, the cleaner his face will be. As long as I could remember, I’ve never left a single rice in my bowl. My husband better be daaammmn hot.
3. I talk to myself sometimes.
4. I love drinking flat pop. Mmmm, week-old Pepsi. Pass it over here please!
5. I love smelling the following: gluestick, new crayons, new pencil crayons, and new books. Does anybody feel the same?
6. The amount of attraction I have towards you is all dependent on how you smell to me. I think there’s some biological reason to it. Is it that people who are more fertile emit some attractive scent related to hormones? I think JP was telling me about that. I could be totally crazy about you, and you can be a total asshole and I would have no clue as to why I would want to rape you — all because you emit that “smell”.
Well, Armani is a good scent to “emit” too. Hehe.
But heck, I’m attracted to myself according to how I smell to myself. Me no like stinky me.
Now, do you STILL want to be my friend?
__________________
BFF
I have the BESTEST FRIEND in the whole WIDE WORLD. At the sound of my voice that hints of something wrong, JP quickly jets right over to my house right after work with a CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP AND A BAGETTE WITH BUTTER (in replacement of the soda) ready in hand to comfort me.
What a fucking sweetie.
That is WHY I’m going lesbian someday. Cause men just can’t live up to my standards.
Oh — the tears are gone.
The Cough Begins.
When I go to sleep, I suffer like a person with pneumonia or mono. I choke on my breath because my lungs feel like they are going to collapse. All because of a few unwashed grapes. Yipee doo. Someone must have coughed on those grapes and I willfully ate them.
_____________
I’ve Dug Up My Bible.
I went to Bible study on sunday night. I had a minor fever, but I think I was too high on vitamin C pills and Tylenol to know that I was CONSCIOUSLY going to a bible study. So J.C was saying how God had to collapse his lungs last summer because he was so busy with life that he wouldn’t have stopped to take a rest himself, so in order for God to answer his prayer for some rest, God did the almighty damning.
Well, God must be damning me right now, but it ain’t stoping me from working for the rest of the week. Snow or no snow, heat or no heat (our thermostat broke at work, I know, what a frikken wonderful time for it to break down), running nose or no running nose, I am truckin’ to work!
I wonder what God’s going to do next…
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish.” Hebrews 12: 1-2
____________
Buckley’s.
Today was my first time eating Buckley’s. I didn’t think it tasted that horrible. You haven’t tasted horrible until you’ve tasted chinese medicine. Buckley’s tastes like… burning. Chinese medicine tastes like burning, and a skunk mixed with poison.
“Go on girl, eat it! It tastes bad, but it’s the only way you’ll get better!! Just eat it”
A customer cheered me on while watching me hover over a garbage can in case I were to gag, fearfully putting that teaspoon of Buckley’s in my mouth.
Tasted like… burning mint.
________________
Dear Xangans.
Kiwihead: I will sing you a song once this Macy Gray of a voice of mine from the flu disappears.
Shake_things_up: Yes, I’ve disappeared from the face of the earth, and into my bed to rest. Or actually, that is a lie, I work more than I sleep. Don’t worry, I will enter your contests before the deadline. I am the finest procrastinator out there.
Djcaptainzowie: Don’t you just LUUURRRVV the Raptors. Bosh > Kobe. Hope you enjoy your Valentine stranger tonight.
Dchoi83: I would love to play Wii. Is this an Anti-Valentine’s Wii party or something? Cause if it is, I am so there. I would love to not wear the safety strap for the controller and swing that thing right into your tv screen.
Psychoexbf: Yes! Somebody please bring me some chicken noodle soup (with a soda on the side). If you do that psycho, I will serenade you in person. IN PERSON.
Januaryicecream: You’re my true valentine, always.
WhiteNoiseSymphony: Come. Visit. Me. At. Work. It’s. So. Effing. Boring. There. You. Must. Distract. Me. I. Will. Give. You. Free. Food. If. You. Do. So.
Slutburger_with_Cheese: 250k.
________________
Please don’t play with me
My paper heart will bleed.
Be with me, I beseech you.
Many hearts will be broken tonight
Happy Valentine’s.
Yum!
Men who don’t want to spend, and women who don’t want to nag for flowers and chocolates. HATE VDAY is for you.
Shout out to all the assholes.
And my personal favourite of all time,
(thank you to psychoexbf for the picture)
…for all those accumulated nights of unsatisfactory.
So… where can I get these?
Edit: Some of you are asking, “But secret_agent_nelle, I thought you were PRO-Valentines.” Sure I was. A week ago! When I still had faith in a SIX year old to take me out for dinner! Desperate times, calls for desperate measures. Lil Vincent ain’t good enough. I’m jumping on the hater wagon.
________________
Haha I found this acronym from somebody’s comments.
Valentine’s Day is a SAD day. As in, S.A.D day. – Single Awareness Day.
How true, how true. Haha, okay no more whining about VDAY until VDAY comes, I PROMISE.
