I need a distraction… NOW.

Regret.

I don’t walk away because I’m addicted to the pain.

You don’t take a step forward because you’ve only seen the dark.

It’s a vicious cycle.

Does anybody still remember that forward email that talks about how a guy and a girl always loved each other, but never had the courage to tell each other that? And through out their lifetimes, they lived and married those that they didn’t love. They secretly longed for each other everyday. At the funeral, the mother read a dairy entry from years ago about how if only the girl had told him how much she loved him, that he was the only love in her life, then life would have been joyous for her. The man sat there — having to write the same old tune in his diary, listened in tears. He regrets not professing, only wishing he had told her how much he loved her too, that she was his only love, that life would’ve been perfect with her in it.

But that’s too late now, isn’t it.
Regrets, we love them don’t we.
It pulls on our heart strings.

Waiting.

M was late the other day. M was a stranger and he asked me whether he could photocopy my (awesome) lecture notes that he missed, and I said yes because I felt like being kind that day. I told him that if he needed extra clarification for my notes, that he could call me, and I would explain. I am too nice sometimes.

So, what do you know, M needed extra clarifications. He suggested that we meet up for coffee, I suggested lets NOT and just meet up half an hour before lecture to go over the notes.

I guess he took that as a clear sign that I am not interested in him.

But does that mean that he has to be late? Dang, I hate it when guys are late.

I told him to wait in front of the lecture hall at 2:00pm, I came fashionably late, oh say — 2:05pm, because that’s just how I roll. But this guy wasn’t even there. I waited for another 5 minutes, and just left and went into class.

He came for class and I looked at him with a blank stare. He opened his mouth, but I beat him to it:

“Number 1, never make a girl wait. Understand? and Number 2, I have a million dollars to make in 523 days, my time equals money.”

He looked at me and lowered his head. “I’m sorry”, and that’s all he mumbled. He sat down and continued with his mindless NBA statistics on his lap top.

I don’t think that guy likes me much anymore. GOOD.

Guys, what does it mean when you make girls wait? Does it mean that they are less important to you? You’re not really that into them? Just another girl you’re dating? What are other reasons why you would let a girl wait?

Girls, we just hate it when guys are late. Enough said.
(Well, are there girls out there that don’t mind this trait in guys?? Speak now!)

10 Ideal Boyfriend Traits

1. Prince Charming.

The End.

I can hear all the stalkers out there sighing in dissapointment, and mumbling “What the heck does a PC do or look like? Miss Nelle, what is it that I have to do to win your heart?” If you had to question that, or ask yourself whether you’re PC material, then mark my words — YOU ARE NOT A PC. Get out of my life.

Move away,

I have a MILLION dollars to make.

…and Oprah’s show to be on.

Sing With Me.

I tear my heart open
I sold myself short
My weakness is
That I care too much
And my scars remind me
that the past is real

I tear my heart open
Just to feel.

Scars – Paparoach

Whenever you hear this at the supermarket, H&M, on the radio, or if it is just perfectly sitting in your playlist – please — sing with me. It is in rememberance of our pain from people who rip our hearts out.

My emo-self is back.
Welcome back.

__________________

Play Hard — To Get.

“For me, my version of playing hard-to-get always works. Here’s how I do it: I always make sure that even if I am head-over-heels into a guy, I never let him know — even the slightest bit — that I am. If he calls me, I’ll wait at least three days before calling him back, and when I’m around him, I always act very nonchalant and make sure I talk to others as much as I talk to him. Lastly, I never spill my feelings until at least two weeks after he spills his. I think this leaves a guy always wanting more, and makes him feel like ‘getting’ me is a challenge. Guys like competition and to win, so it’s almost like a game!”
– Sarah, 29, systems analyst, Sacramento, CA

Guys like this? I think Ryan was trying to explain this to me the other day, and I just had the same look on my face that I had for my math teacher:

I will never understand this concept — ever.

_______________

Happy Birthday.

It’s my little brother’s 10th birthday today. Because it’s a Chinese family, a traditional Chinese family that is, emotions are hardly expressed.

I woke up this morning, and it was on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t say it. I looked at him and told him to stop stealing my Red Bulls instead. When he was about to step out the door for another day of school, I wanted to reach out and say it, but I didn’t. When I came back from school and he opened the door to greet me, I wanted to say it, again, but I didn’t say it.

All I wanted to say was “Happy Birthday Tim”

But I couldn’t even do it. There’s this rock inside my heart.

But I said it a million times on the inside…

Happy Birthday Tim. You’ll never go back to single digits again. Maybe when you grow a bit older, you can read this.

_________________

“Spider-Man will always have enemies
…that is why we can never be…”

Flings.

I added one of my summer flings on Facebook. And when he had to describe how he knew me, he added “we went to school together” AND “we dated“.

I slammed my hand on the table.

WHAT?!

I don’t know whether to feel offended, jipped, or just plain mad at that answer.

HE was the one that did not want it to be a relationship. He wanted what some of you FB members know so very well of – Random Play.

I’m changing it to — “Met randomly: we flinged!!”  hmph!

When you kiss my forehead…

“it’s all because of you”

Game of Love.

When two people play the game of love, they are just racing towards the “0″ margin. The rules goes like this: whoever likes the other person less, wins. And the person who ends up with the most affection for the other person, loses out. So question is, if we’re both playing the game, what makes me want to like you even more, if liking you unconditionally declares me as the loser? Why should I invest my love, only to be pushed away?

_____________

P says that

“Women fall faster,

but men fall deeper“,

I digress.

Why the heck not?!?!?!