Scattered Friend Thoughts.

A real friend is sympathetic no matter what circumstances you are in. Whether it be a full-blown problem or just a teensy-weensy one, it’s all relative at the end of the day. “You will never know how it feels like to be in my position”, and so we could only imagine how it really feels like to be in their shoes.

Friends will never judge.

They will never tell you that your problems are too big, or too small. They will listen. Genuinely listen, and if you ever need to cry, they wouldn’t mind letting you cry on their favourite shirt if it means that you would feel a little better after releasing your tears of pain.

I cried about family problems, to my mochi ice-cream being freezer burned. (I’m sorry, I love my mochi way too much to let ice ruined it’s true perfection — so I cried in vain).

Friends would push, only if you’re ready to get up. They don’t make you feel more stressed than you have to be — they understand that you will push yourself when you are ready to do so.

Friends are those that interrogate, not for gossip, but because they care. Even the slightest possibility of a friend being in a state less than ‘happy’ would render them cautious and observant to what you have to say. They would always give advices from their experiences, but they would never force you to see it through their lens. “Do whatever you feel is right” — and they really do mean that, because they trust that your reasoning and emotions will lead you to a decision that you will learn from.

It is known that humans cannot live without the ideal of human ‘touch’. It is important that we make personal and physical contacts at least once a day. Without it, we go numb and delirious.

I’m glad I have two very good friends.

Sometimes, I miss that ‘touch’. Someone that genuinely cares for me and would caress and embrace me not for lust but love. For in that moment, it is forever engrained in my mind. But lust — slips away like shifting sand.

My ex was somebody that I could confide in always. He always listened, held and supported me. He genuinely cared for me. But I couldn’t do the same for him. And that’s why we’re where we are right now. In two very different worlds.

Just longing for… I don’t know what.

Even now, I have a lump in my throat. I want to tear, but somehow my eyes are dried and I can’t express what I truly feel. What’s wrong with crying? At least I knew I felt passionately about something, at least I knew I wasn’t stone cold, at least I knew I was human.

Contentment, do you remember how it feels like?

Earth Hour.

“I’m just one person, what can I do about global warming?”

For some of you, you will question the actually pragmatic difference it will make from this simple and minute act of just turning off the lights for one hour. But it’s not about that.

It’s about creating a symbolic event that could become a movement.
A simple act that would create a positive tipping point.

This is the beginning, for you and I to make a global difference.

So I urge you to join, along with the rest of the world, to turn off your lights for just one hour starting 8pm local time. And see the world in a whole new light.

The Good Life.

Stole this from Philip Wang’s xanga. Yes, I’ve stalked him thiiiis far. From YouTube, to facebook, to xanga. Phil, if you’re reading this. I love you — and your work. Now can I have your baby?

For those that know what I’ve been trying to do in life and what I’ve been trying to accomplish…

Wow, I am such a happy person when I get my 11 hours of sleep. I get so happy and excited, EVEN for work. I even commented 4 times consecutively on one of Slutburger_with_cheese posts and I never do that because I don’t think he deserves comments/stars/recommends/or any of my precious footprints.

That is all.

All of a sudden, I feel like playing HALO. I feel like being a guy, with no emotions, don’t get touched by the world, don’t feel anything. Too bad HALO is too far of reach, I guess I’d just have to settle with playing Spongebob Squarepants on my DS.

I’m sick. Bring me some cake, and a good heart.

“This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well. Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly. Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature. Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life happy.” –Susan Polis Schutz

Failure.

So……………. yeaaaaaaaaaah. I failed my G. Nice black man as my examiner. Well-spoken, i mean like.. excruciatingly nice. BUT MARKS LIKE A BITCH!

I fail to believe that I am the stereotypical chinese woman driver that lack peripheral vision and/or driving skills. I assure you, I CAN DRIVE. Just not accordingly to the law.

For God’s sake, how many frikken times do I have to prove to you that I checked my blind spot!!! Bah.

Kua, I don’t want to hear a THING from you.

Anyway, I’m gonna hear about this during dinner time. I AM Chinese after all. Failure do not resonate very well in Chinese families. Especially when my dad is a driving instructor. And yeah, we’re Chinese. Oh did I say that already?

To depict the harsh reality that it has brought upon me, no other image could delineate it more accurately than Japanese anime. Note, I drew this myself.

That’s me in the middle. Yeep. And there’s the teardrop on the right. Some dark vertical lines to emphasize failure. A black cloud and a lightning bolt zapping my ass for bad luck. And of course, how could I ever forget the smelly pile of turd to the left, complete with stink lines and flies surrounding the vicinity.

Sigh.

Procrastination.

So unmotivated with school right now, it’s unbelievable. Well, it probably shouldn’t come as a surprise to me, since every year when spring comes around, my heart tends to flutter and become all care-free. But really, this is procrastination at its finest. The next week and a half is going to be the most unhealthy days for me this year. It’s going to consist of redbulls and cola, staying up all night writing essays, panic attacks, more procrastination, eating all the junk food in the world, eating cheesecakes that kua’s going to bring me, and finally, after all that is done and over with, there will be a par-tay to celebrate me overcoming my consequences of procrastination. Can’t wait.

________________

I’m sure at first glance, every woman would agree with that quote. Humming to Beyonce and nodding the head while doing the infamous “mmm-hmmm girlfriend” gesture — yeah, that’s what I did too. But then, if you think about all the experiences that we’ve had in life in references to our crushes/totga/girlfriends/boyfriends, it NEVER turned out that way. We always somehow fell for somebody that weren’t willing to catch us, weren’t willing to embrace us and acknowledge us, weren’t willing to reciprocate the love that only we would know how deep it reaches… and yet, they were always the most interesting and profound people that changed our hearts. We couldn’t stop loving them if we tried.

Leap of faith.
For better or for worse…

______________

Happy Birthday Tim!

It was my brother’s birthday yesterday. 11 years old. This year, I was a better sis, I ran up the stairs to yell “Happy Birthday”. I couldn’t even mutter those words to him last year.

Growth.

“You Won” – Jennifer Chung.

I drive you crazy,
As I said that I would.
Do you still want me?
I don’t see how you could.

This is the way that I’ve been.
This is what I have to change.
I want to be better,
Have much more to offer.
I’m gonna try alone, so please do not stay.

The words, the words, it’s always the words that strucks me.

Behind the Scenes.

Thank you to Jason Lee for enduring this trip with me. He didn’t have to, but he chose to do so. I am forever grateful.