July 7, 2008

• Pre-nups.

  
  

  I used to be against pre-nups. I always thought that no matter what, even if the woman were to be the breadwinner in the house, the man still had the onus to protect and provide indefinitely. Well, I still have that idea floating around in my mind, but it isn’t as concrete of a thought as it used to be.

  
  

  I was also entrenched into the fairy tale wedding thoughts, whereby my partner and I would be in consummate love, that money should never ever be an issue or talked about in a possessive way. Everything of mine will be his and vice versa, and everything under the roof will be shared, even IF we were to divorce. Til death do us apart, no?

  
  

  But that has changed as well. I’ve changed.

  
  

  I, now, support pre-nuptial agreements. Really, if you think about it, the epitome of divorce is to dissolve a marriage that just couldn’t work. And at this point, you just want to get the hell out so you can stop wasting your time aka life, and just move-on. A pre-nup will take care of the financials for you by alloting the funds to their rightful owner. It’s really one less problem to think about when and if the time comes down to the unfortunate break-up.

  
  

  And if you think about it some more, isn’t this what they do in business when they try to dissolve a partnership and liquidate everything? Ask any businesswoman and man, and they will tell you that a partnership isn’t a partnership if from day one, the percentages/ratios weren’t already assigned. Whether it be 50/50, 60/40, what have you. It’s the ultimate contingency plan.

  
  

  I know what you’re gonna say, you’re gonna say this: “Nelle, if you were so sure to be in consummate love with this person and have gone so far as marriage, why do you need a pre-nup? It’s like BANKING on the fact that the love will fail somewhere along the future line….”

  
  

  What’s your point? I’m being realistic here. And I’m not banking on the fact that my marriage will fail on me. All I’m saying is, I don’t know everything for certain, and to really cut it short… bottom line is, I don’t need a man to take care of me… especially in financial terms. AND especially if he happens to be my ex-husband-to-be.

  
  

  I have never taken any denomination of dollar bills from any man. Even from a boyfriend. You’re better off giving me presents or food than cash. I just won’t accept cash from a man.

  
  

  If it so happens that I do end up in a divorce and I’ve signed a prenup, there can only be two endings to this:

  
  

  1) I was the breadwinner, so I get my share of what I rightfully own, and he gets his peanuts. I guess I turned out to be the winner here. Didn’t really lose much financially. Yay for prenups. Oh, and I get the kids.

  
  

  —OR—

  
  

  2) I wasn’t the breadwinner, and the worst part is, I was unemployed to become the best housewife ever only to find my partner cheated on me. So I got the peanuts and the kids.

  
  

  
  Number two seems scary, no? Well, like I said. I don’t ever need to depend on a man to carry me through financial hardships. Put me in number one scenario, okay cool. Put me in number two scenario, well — only means that I’ll work even harder. Put me in the projects, run-down everything, take allllll the frikken money, I don’t care. One thing the ex-husband-to-be wouldn’t be able to take away from me is my dignity and the strength to strive forward and to live the life that I want to live. It could only go up from there. I love challenges, so throw me in the lion’s den, and I’ll come out alive.

  
  

  I know my abilities in life, and I refuse to depend on a man – financially.

  
  

  So, why are there so many people against pre-nups? Just look at Britney. Shouldn’t that be a valuable lesson to all?
  

  
  

  “Take the money, it’s just money.”

  • 8:36 pm
  • 4 Comments