May 22, 2004
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At the library right now trying to research the ‘history of deja vu’, it’s not goign too well, I dont’ think, considering I am websurfing at this moment and I am only allow to have 1 hour each day at the library computers. My time is running at 22 minutes. 22 minutes till they kick me off. Where the heck did my tax money go? (This is stupid, they should make it so its unlimited.. no nevermind, stupid punk kids with neo pets will camp at the computers… okay maybe.. 2 hours)
Today’s not exactly the nicest day, I must admit. The sky.. the sky.. mmm looking out the window right now… the sky doesn’t even have a frikken sun!! Oh please come out! But hey… at least it’s not raining. I hate it when it rains.
Yesterday night was quite nice. I walked back from Lara’s house in the dark with Eric and it wasn’t too cold nor too hot. There was a slight breeze blowing past my cheeks, my hair, making me feel.. so adequate at that moment. Like I don’t have to care about finding a job, school ISUs, parents.. God. The only thing missing was the stars in the sky. I counted. There were only two bright stars shining. Maybe there will be more tonight…
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6:43pm
The sky is falling in a form of liquid, and I feel my heart plummet everytime it hits the ground. Sad how when they reach the ground, they just merge together, into something, not having their own individual identity anymore. And funny how things feel the same way sometimes, i fall and everything just mashes together, all mixed up, don’t know my priorities, don’t know who i am anymore. I hate losing control, i hate it. Then I think about you, telling myself over and over again that I got over you, that you have someone else to devote to, but deep down inside, do i believe that? I get frustrated with life, and everything just condense into one black ball. Then it was my turn to add to the mashed-up-everything.
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9:58pm
Feeling those Chinese feel-good movies right now. Gonna go see if there is any on tv…
P.S There was thunder and lightning today, I liked it.
