July 18, 2004

• On my way back from church, after ridin’ the hideous bus called the TTC, and lets not forget the York Region Transit,  which the’re just sooo reliable and punctual (PLEASE do sense my sarcasm), mom, bro, and I walked home for the reminder of the way. My heels were killing me (non-relevant), but I managed to carry on a conversation with my mom that just totally blew me away. I think this is the only conversation that I’ve ever been in, that is TOTALLY un-asian-ized. It sounded something like this…

  
  

  (walking, clit-clack-clit-clack)

  
  

  Me: “Hey mom, I got 80% on my last history test”

  
  

  Mom: “Oh that’s good!”

  
  

  Me: “Yea.. but I’m also getting 78% for my whole midterm mark”

  
  

  Mom: “Oh that’s good!”

  
  

  (pause for a moment, then crescendo in my tone of voice)

  
  

  Me: “Mom! That is not good, what are you talking about??”

  
  

  Mom: “Isn’t 50% the passing mark? so you’re doing good!”

  
  

  Me:What?!?! Mom!! I can’t get 78% in history. I can’t get low in something I’m suppose to be good at!!! I can’t stick with a 70!! It’s a 70!! I can’t give these marks to the universities!!! Do you understand?!.. I can’t.. (etc)

  
  

  (Ellen goes into a dilirious state)

  
  

  Mom: (silence) uh…. okay.

  
  

  So I gave up into persuading her that I need to do better in school. Why is that my parents can accept who I am and actually look optimistic towards my mark, and I’m here…. just ranting and raving.. and can’t even bare to notice my successes and dwell in my flaws? Why is that? I always thought it was the other way around. Am I being a jerk to myself?

  • 1:55 pm
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