June 18, 2005

• Splish-splash. My hand’s been in cold water ever since Ian accidentally poured a whole pot of scorching hot coffee on the back of my hand this morning. (Ian if you’re reading, don’t worry : *) i’m living). It’s kind of embarassing, cause my manager Ronnie had to dip my hand in cold water while I was just sniffing my tears like a little baby. I’m sucha big baby. Ah well, I like to be pampered. : P Amazingly my hand does not burn anymore after my sleep, but i remember it felt like flying daggars whenever i was trying to sleep with my hand OUT the water. I remember saying to Justin: “I just realized, a burn is pretty much like a heart break, it may just hurt at the moment, but you haven’t realized the whole burn until right after where it starts to kill and eat you up from the inside…” 

  
  

  On another note, I was talking to Ronnie on my break along side with Jay and Josh. And we were just on the topic of life goals, careers and just plainly.. life. Ronnie comments on how if she had another chance of achieving her lifetime career, she would aim for a doctoral degree, because she always wanted to help save lives and she hopes that her kid (toby, age 3, amazingly cute and smart) will have the passion to be what Ronnie never got the chance to be. But that wasn’t her regretful remark ending up as an assisstant manager at McDonald’s, she then says how lucky she is to have everything right now. (Because to tell you the truth, McDonald’s managers make a goooood amount of money, more than… teachers.. sigh) And she never once complained once about her life but instead, she keeps saying how blessed she is and that she doesn’t need more than what she has. She has all the money she needs for her family, extra spendings, 2 cars, 2 houses, a husband, a smart kid, and 12 Louis Vuittons and 4 Rolex(es). (and that’s JUST the beginning of the brand name list…)

  
  

  So it’s really nice to see people count their blessings, because she said she would NEVER want to be those people who would have to be on a tight budget and struggle day and night only to bring enough to the family. Although quite frankly, there’s just a whole lot of people out there who are going through this every single day. The thought of going through this day-to-day fight breaks their spirits. Just the plain thought of money, kills their souls.

  
  

   

  
  

  SPOKEN WORD – untitled
  (Writer’s Craft ~ 2004)
  By: Ellen Lai

  
  

  It takes me by the hand and swings me around
  to mess around with my vision
  to put me in a mission
  in a full emulation
  for its existence, and it’s presence
  disgusts me
  makes me hurl
  to see how people unfurl
  in a world
  such as ours
  sure we can go far
  without it, we can still go like a dart
  but I just want to part
  in a evil like this
  don’t you get the gist?
  in the mist
  of this deadly kiss?
  sure it shines for you
  and rhymes for you
  and people know who you are with it
  fine green eyes looking out for you
  but tell me, does it cure the blues?
  when you feel like a foo, and have no boo,
  to straighten out those empty tears bouncin off your shoes
  It makes us all go crazy, hazy,
  maybe even steal, lie, do all these bad things for it
  When we are wounded, do we patch our selves in it’s filth?
  No, humanity heals with love, as soft as silk
  Mothers and babies in welfare,
  don’t even have enough for bus fare
  but do they care, they have each other to share
  they have each other’s trust to wear
  on their backs
  we’re like a nutshells, ready to crack
  that’s a fact
  cause we all see stars, when we see its’ luster
  we make it seem like it compensates
  for our fates
  and bates us out from our bothers
  vigor in my advocacy
  I’m talking about, those paper greens
  that we call money

  • 9:23 pm
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