January 11, 2006
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Mister K.
K makes me feel very uncomfortable. Maybe it’s the way he speaks his Polish, or the way he always reference to his friends as if I know them or met them before. Maybe it’s the way that he shifts his leg closer to mine on the bus, and the way he invites me to parties when that was all done in the past. Or it could be the way he is so nice, and at the same time his unwelcoming voice echoes in the bus.
Don’t you know… flings or past relationships are meant to end because it was for a good reason?
I never used to agree with that notion that your ex cannot be your friend again. I used to think that it was actually possible and that things could go back to normal, before any commitment was made. But things didn’t work out because there were good reasons. For K, it was the way he parties and parties.. and parties. Though he wasn’t the self-indulgent kinds where he becomes all piss drunk and dumps academia to the side. No — He studies hard, but he also loves living life on the edge. It’s silly now to think that I was so into him that I would try to fit my life to his, his crazy adventures and spontaneous gatherings.
I would never become like that, now that I think of it. I like my life just the plain ol’ jane.
He was obsessed with the “good times” and not enough of the “silent times to reflect”, he loved people, but I realized today… I like my proximity from people, I get annoyed when people start pushing in into my life. He lavished himself with popularity and it was obvious at his parties. Everybody knew his name, everybody would ask how he’s doing. “Hey K, how’s it going? Hey K dude, what an awesome party, you rock!”
I like none of that. So when he asks…
it only brings me back to when I wanted everything to fit, but it was obvious to me that I couldn’t be his girl. I was so stupid to think that. It just wouldn’t work, because the truth is, we were two very different people. I partied, I drank. But truthfully, I am not that kind of person.
In the end, I’m glad it’s over. Because I found somebody that I can confide and feel comfortable in, and even maybe see a future with. It makes me feel warm and hopeful. And that maybe life ain’t so gloomy and i’m always looking forward to fly to the beautiful NYC to see Dave.
But when i’m in the bus, next to K, it grows infinitely cold.
Comments (2)
oo thanks for the reference that was defintely interesting.. =D
that was reaally well written and hey if you ever need someone to listen i got an email, a phone and an ear okay?
Happy new year to youu too. How long have you and this new york boy been dating? A preety long time if i remember correctly. congratulations.
hhhahahha, i’ll always be your little chritina aguilera as long as you’ll be my moomoo, hahhahaa remember that?
love,
justinnnne