February 26, 2006
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A Blow to the Membrane.
Life has been a little hectic. A little more scattered and focused in the wrong places. I would have to say that small things in life are often being looked over, and things that in the long run that does not matter, ends up in front of the line of priorities and frustrations.
Does anybody feel the same way too?
I say that it’s probably all the midterms and exams that magnifies emotions a million times. But my mind just can’t help but think about these following things:
- Whether I should move to the city and live with my best friend and pay for all my expenses…or should I do that this coming September, when I’m possibly more financially secure?
- Money.
- Whether I’m going to get into Teacher’s Education.
- Whether I should visit HK this summer.
- Money.
- Whether I should stay at my current job.. or find another.
- My Visa bill.
- Whether I can actually take my parents disputing with each other every morning.
- My bank account after I pay the Visa bill.
I always hate thinking about money. Even now, typing out this entry gives me the biggest headache, like I just want to bury my head in a hole and not think about. Too often do my mom always penny-pinch in the family that the symptoms has already take its toll on me. Like mom, like daughter. It’s not that I wish I was rich, but I wish there was some way that I can nicely organize my life, make a little bit more than I need to support my own spendings that I can stress, but just stress and be comfortable at the same time. I think it’s just assurance that I’m looking for. I hate the insecurity that money provides, sometimes, it even means that my life have to come to a haul because the lack of the paper currency. I’m all about organization and certainty. I need to plan my life ahead and see where I’m going. Money is often my main resource of doing so, I CANNOT put my life to a stop. Sigh, I hate money-migraines.
Let’s just sleep on it tonight, okay?
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(I always thought that you were a determined and motivated individual, that you were just like me. Sometimes… I think otherwise. I guess I got it all wrong.)
