July 22, 2006

• Dating Etiquette.
  (By Margot Lester)

  
  

  Don’t have time to attend an academy of etiquette? Try these tips, which Post offers as a crash course in dating manners:

  
  

  
  
  1. Dress the part. “Don’t skimp on your wardrobe,” Post counsels. This is not the time to dress down: “If anything, kick it up a notch. It shows respect for the person you’re going out with.”
     
     
     
  2. Be prepared and be on time. “If you’re running late, you’re starting off on the wrong foot,” he notes. “It’s so much easier to have a good time by not causing problems than spending time recovering from a mistake.” And if you are running more than a few minutes late, do call the restaurant or café where you’re meeting and ask them to offer your apologies to your date—plus your ETA.
     
     
     
  3. Mind your table manners. “They really matter more than other manners,” Post says. “You can get away without opening a door or taking her coat, but if you chew with your mouth open, you’re not getting another date.”
     
     
     
  4. Focus 100 percent on your date. “The biggest problem I hear about? People not being attentive to and focused on the person they’re with,” he says. Especially in the cellular era. “Answering a cell-phone call is a classic error. If you’re talking on the phone, you’re ignoring the person. A date is a time to focus on the person you’re with.” The same holds true for text-messaging and scrolling through your Blackberry messages.
     
     
     
  5. Check your baggage. “A date is not the time to talk about the wonderful things you’ve done with other people,” Post says. “That’s a big faux pas.” So is talking about all the horrible things that befell your past romances. “Talk about here and now, and your personal plans for the future.”
     
     
     
  6. Sweat the small stuff. “One thing we’re hearing from women is that the days of ‘Don’t open the door for me’ are gone,” Post reports. So get the door, help her on with her coat. And, ladies, guys like to feel good, too. So compliment him on his aftershave, unlock the door after you get in the car and offer to carry some of the take-out.
     
     
     
  7. Follow up. “Grease the wheels for the next date by placing a call or sending an email,” Post says. And if you know there’s not going to be another date? “Simply say ‘Thanks very much’ without adding, ‘Let’s do it again’,” he says. It’s basic politeness.

  
  

  The key, Post says, is to show you’ve put some thought into your date-night behavior. “Etiquette isn’t a bunch of rules, it’s about thinking,” he asserts. “And people who think about what they’re going to do are more successful than people who don’t. “Take half a second to ask, how would I feel if someone did that to me? A little preventive maintenance goes a long way.” Remember, Post concludes, “Little gestures add up to making a person feel really good about being with you. And they might just earn you the opportunity to see someone again.”
  

  
  

  What’s YOUR dates’ etiquette faux-pas?

  • 10:34 am
  • 5 Comments