August 2, 2006

  • Lessons Learned.


    1) To never ever talk to bf’s relatives or anybody relatively close to oneself (i.e bestfriends) about your own relationship. They’ll be worried, then they’ll judge, and then they’ll choose a side. Sucks when they’re not on your side. It happens naturally with significant other’s family members, of course they’ll choose their side, what — you think they’re going to stick with you rather than choose family? It’s better to quarrel behind closed doors.


    2) Gossip about anybody (especially your own relationship, refer to number 1) does not bring ANYBODY closer. Just shows your true colours actually. And in this world, I’ve finally realized that it’s better not to let anybody see how vulnerable you are.


    3) That the list of the things (24 Things Love and ….) I made down there are harder to fulfill than I thought. I think I’ve done the exact opposite to every point down there today on a simple phonecall to the bf.


    4) That my bf does not read on a daily basis of what I have to say here. Not that I write everyday, but wouldn’t you want to keep refreshing the page and see if I’ve written anything about you?


    5) Contrary to popular belief that it is “easier to get a girl when you’re rich”, it is actually a bullshit excuse for your broke ass. I never said I wanted a million dollars. I just wanted you to treat me AS IF I’m a million dollars. Big difference. (Refer to HousewifeNY’s comment: “He shouldn’t have to take out loans to buy you the latest bags or jewels, but he should give what he can afford.”)


    6) That it is easier not to feel, than to feel all the resentment, anger and passion sometimes.


    edit:


    I almost forgot…


    7) That you can never change a man. You love him for what he is. If you don’t like what you’re seeing, move on.

Comments (3)

  • you can never change a man, so true. unless he wants to change from within.

    relationships are rollercoaster rides.. it seems that you’ve been in this one for a long time… i’m pretty much a newbie in mine..we’re at 5-6 months so far… but already i feel like that wise old man in the movies who dispenses pearls of wisdom hahaha..i bet i have so much more to learn too..

    anyway… i don’t think i have advice that you haven’t already heard before..communication..etc

    lately.i’ve been trying to just let go of the little things… and i try not to turn into a monster and treat him like shit when i’m mad anymore… well i just try not to get mad int he first place :) i dunno… this seems alien to me, but i want to be able to converse with him in a normal tone when i have issue with something..taht’s my goal… “discuss our problems” rather than me…stonewalling him..being passive aggressive, saying everything’s fine when it’s not.. and then when he finally gets it out of me..me saying really mean blunt things in an angry tone.. i don’t want to do that anymore.. i didn’t realize how much it hurt him..

    but yeah..i guess what i’m trying to say is…that..it took a long time for me to figure out that i had to look at my own behaviour and change..and that i kept blaming him too much for things that are inconsequential in the end….

    i’m not saying you should do the same thing haha..but maybe…even though it feels counterintuitive…take the high road sometimes..like if he’s being difficult, or you’re both just annoyed with each other…offer the olive branch first…just to end the bad feelings and get back on even footing..

    or just take a step back and distance yourself… acknowledge both of your strengths and weaknesses and how you can compromise

    you know what helps? googling relationship columnists haha…and talking to friends who are veterans in relationships…gives you lots of perspective

  • awww.. you deserve to be treated like a million dollars….. :)
    you know what helps? showing your appreciation when your bf does something nice for you.. it’s actually a great way to shape future behaviour!!! hahaha!

    omg…that reminds me..i read this article on shaping your man’s behaviour..it was written by a woman who trains animals to do all these tricks…haha! the gist of it was that you IGNORE the stuff your bf does that you do n’t like, just don’t acknowledge it. but when he does something you like, SHOW APPRECIATION…and eventually..he’ll want to do more and more to get your approval!! haha…i think it works….

  • ±o¶¢¨Ó§ÚXanga§¤¤U°Õ ~*

Post a Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *