November 8, 2006
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Just Transition It, and All Will Be Forgotten.
I bumped into S the other day and we both took five minutes out of our lives to update each other what has been going on in our respective dating scenes. Of course, I was the one that initiated it, because I remember from last year, S was totally coo-coo over this one gentleman (or lack thereof, which later you will find out), so I had to ask her if anything progressed from the last time we talked.
She told me a date with him happened not too long ago, but it was horrible. That caught me by surprise, because I honestly thought this was the guy of her dreams — at least she spoke of him like that. I asked her, “How so?” S answered, ”So we were suppose to go out, and he was late for 45 minutes.”
There was silence. We both knew that was NUMBER ONE BIG NO-NO on a (first) date.
I thought about it, sympathized, and asked, “Any excuses? Real good reasons?” She uttered something about traffic. “Well, okay, then what happened?”, I urged on. “Well, then he didn’t have any money for drinks — AT ALL! So I had to cover the bill.”, she said.
I thought, wow this guy is really blowing it. But it can be forgiven…
“Then?” “Then we watched a movie, and we went home. Nothing happened!! No kiss, nothing!”, S widened her eyes in amazement of her own story. “Then, I wrote him a email that night, ending whatever it was between us. But yeah, I have another guy I’m seeing right now, just seeing. So it’s all good.” proudly declaring, with a smirk on her face.
And those were the wise words of S. How does she do it? If it was for me, I would’ve probably forgave, and forgave, and fucking forgave till my friends have to drill in my head that i’m dating a pathetic loser. How does anybody just clear cut it in one date? As if one date will tell you alot about that person, actually — will it? And the best part is, she feels no remorse, no lost time, and transitions onto the next guy. At this moment, I would feel guilty. But really, why should I? I thought, this is what dating is all about.
If a guy red-flags you too many times, the girl should pack up and leave asap, to avoid any leading on or growing of friendship/emotions towards each other. The first few dates should be the best time the girl has ever had, because it is the time for the guy to shine. (Usually, it goes downhill from there because guys get lazy and they sit in front of their [soon to come] PS3′s, that has somehow become the third wheel in the relationship.) And being able to move-on and really know what they’re looking for is a powerful character that I admire in women. Not in a trashy transition way, but one that is classy; ending things in a clean cut, and just continue their search for Mr.Right. No settling necessary.
What would you do in S’s situation. Give “Mr.Non-Gentlemen” another chance to redeem himself? How many chances would you have given, what’s your limit?
Guys, do you agree with S? Is that what girls should do if they realized that they’re not your type? Or would you prefer the leading on… because you think there might be something at the end of the tunnel.
Comments (8)
hmm. lol.
that so reminded me of the “no-no”s my last ex did in our first date. NOT as bad. but he wasn’t really smooth with his plans and not so organized. but what did i do? i gave him another chance. i think it depends on how much potential and hope you have in him. and it also depends on how much you like him. if you can obviously cut him like that, then that means the guy doesn’t mean THAT much to you as much as it seems like. i liked my ex quite a lot by the time we were going on our first date, so i gave him another chance. and now that i think about it.. LOL.. maybe i shouldnt of??
simply, that girl understood he just wasn’t into her. at least she didn’t make any excuses for it.
and stop knocking the ps3. unsubscribe is but a mere button away.
girls would do that if they are certain the guy isn’t their type, or just aren’t patient enough to give another chance at it. some girls would give it some time, cuz first dates are important, but it’s always good to know a guy further beyond the first date to really see the guy for who they are… better or worse. punctuality is important, paying for the girl isn’t… it’s just more of an ideal thing that girls expect i beleive, and kiss at the end of the night or whatever?.. that’s also depending on the expectations of the individual, some ppl rather not kiss at all on the first date and think they might be coming on too strong.
cut to the chase. if you’re late you better have a good reason. no money even better reason and well no kiss, then he’s gay. (j/k) you have to find out what you want and what you can live without.
First couple dates are the worst for me. If I’m really into the person then they somehow end up well, but not great. Those I’m not into end up really well. I think it takes time for some people to warm up. Dating gets better over time.
well, as a guy…I can’t imagine taking a lady on a date (first time or ANY time) with NO money…I mean, really…certainly, the guy shouldn’t ALWAYS pay as the relationship progresses…but, it’s sorta protocol that he pays the first time…and paying for dinner or whatever does NOT guarantee any ‘extras’, as far as I am concerned…I have taken out women and just enjoy the company…as far as the ‘kiss’ at the end of the evening…I like to kiss, so what can I say…?
that guy should’ve prepared with money at least…being late is forgivable cuz you never know what might come up….but having no money is disgusting on the first date..doesn’t he want to make a good impression? anyway…i’d give him the benefit of the doubt first. i would’ve given him another chance, if he actively pursued me and asked me out on another date, offering to pay for next dinner. if i detect a loser pattern, as in…late for the second date AND makes me pay again… i’d just drop him and quickly move on without looking back
well S found herself another man, shes able to move on … haha good for her
Yeaaah i think what the guy did was inexcuasable….really stupid
lol i know scarborough isn’t ghetto hahahahahaha but yeah ppl just think it is…so i play on it!
I probably would have given him a second date and really observed the guy and see if I was having a good time with him. If i’m still not pleased or if it’s a disaster again, that I’ll take that as a sign and split.
Just tell yourself that noone is worth more than you.
Other people’s happiness is not above your own.
If your boyfriend doesn’t make an effort to make you happy, the way you do him, then he’s not right for you.
I break up with guys by writing them a letter which I give to them in person. They read it. I ask them if they have any questions. I answer honestly. Getting back together is NOT an option. I make sure that’s clear. After al the questions are answered, I say goodbye and leave.