November 24, 2006

• Powerless.

  
  

  I am a firm believer of the notion “Someone needs to break you, before you know how to humble yourself.” I think humility is such an important and powerful character trait to attain. Maybe because the hubris is always defeated and vanquished in story telling, but with all those stories being told, there must be an ounce of truth in them. And indeed, they do.

  
  

  There is always going to be someone better, stronger, more powerful, and richer than you, and don’t ever forget that. Because once somebody feels that they are the best, it limits their potential. It creates this illusion, this surreality that one is on top of things and knows everything that is needed to know already. The point is — somebody who thinks they are the best, don’t have reasons to push themselves to strive anymore. They just stay at some uniform plateau, while people are rising up against them and the worse part is, they don’t even know it.

  
  

  I think there is so much to learn from our enemies that we make for ourselves. Alot of people don’t see that fighting the enemy will only make them stronger because it shows our vulnerabilities and weaknesses in return. Not to make this sound like a strategy for backstabbing (hmm Machiavelli?), but in truth, if somebody is in your opinion more knowledgeable or possibly your competition, it is better to put them ahead of you because then you can learn from the bottom and try to take yourself to the top. And since you have thought about this, knowing everything that the competition knows, you will then take it to the next level by adding what you know — and thus, it will lead you to surpass your “enemies”. But don’t forget where you came from, that was only one obstacle to jump over. This is where humility is needed the most. It lets you acknowledge your accomplishment but at the same time lets you go into new challenges with the right mentality. Sometimes, i even think being humble is being strategic.

  
  

  Right now, I feel defeated because of some simple tasks I couldn’t even do correctly today. And yes, I went to work today thinking that I was such a great worker and have improved myself tremendously, and I also walked out of work today feeling belittled. It was those times where I thought I did such a great job, but it is my cockiness that completely blinds me. The fall hurts, oh — and the embarrassment nonetheless.

  
  

  There is a reason why modest people are admirable. Reason is that they never stop learning, living, striving for the best. Whereas the hubris, will always remain at the bottom foiled, dejected, and powerless.

  
  

  __________________
  
  Sad Sad Story.
  (phone convo.)

  
  

  Secret_Agent_Nelle: J, where are you?
  J: No Frills.
  SAN: Why are you at No Frills?
  J: Getting milk.
  SAN: and why?
  J: For Q.
  SAN: why the hell are YOU getting milk for Q. (Thoughts: when did J become the “househusband”)
  J: And I have to get Jell-O
  SAN: okay, and why?
  J: because Q’s mom wants to eat Jell-O
  SAN: and what the hell does that have to do with you?
  J: I don’t know, she wants to eat Jell-O.
  SAN: Okay anyway, you’re going to come with me to downtown next Sunday to get my tattoo right?
  J: uh.. maybe.
  SAN: WHY NOT?! You said you would.
  J: (after countless excuses, the truth comes out) What if Q doesn’t like that I’m coming with you?
  SAN: SO?!?! M is coming with us. It’s not like it’s just us two. And if you want, we’ll drag more people just so your frikken gf will feel comfortable. Come on dear friend, I need your support in times of pain.
  J: but what if she isn’t comfortable?
  
  (This is the part where I started screaming in rage)
  
  SAN: AND WHY THE HELL WOULDN’T SHE BE ALRIGHT WITH IT?! YOU’RE JUST ACCOMPANYING ME AND M TO GET A TATTOO. ARE WE VIOLATING SOME CHEATING POLICY HERE?!?! NO. You’re just fucking whipped, that’s all.
  J: Okay, maybe I liked to be whipped.
  SAN: Okay fine, you enjoy your life dictated by a girl that will probably later on break your heart. Let’s see who you’re going to run to when that happens.
  J: Well, it won’t be you.
  
  I love my friends. They are fucking whipped and awesome. After maybe giving him 263498263 lectures on ”how to become a good boyfriend”, it is now actually penetrating into J’s head. He’s too good to be true. If you were my boyfriend and I told you to go buy my groceries, INCLUDING what my mom wants at night, would you do it? No really, would you?

  • 7:30 pm
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