February 3, 2007
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In Control.
That is not my buttcrack showing, it’s just the tag sticking out, thank you very much.
I always think that I am in control. Or that I would like to feel the power of being in control. I love knowing every variable that will effect my outcome, I love knowing the ‘surprises’, ‘strengths’ and ‘weaknesses’ in life. I like being parrallel to everyone, going on with my own straight path, and only caring for my own straight path.
I have always been this type of person; self-reliant. I can get anything in life. They say if you tried hard enough, you will. But there’s always something to it, a catch.
There is that one ‘thing’ that deems everyone weak and mortal afterall, and that is the search for our better-half. No matter how much we achieve in life, the value of obtaining a ‘better-half’ is not in our control because it is dependent on the other person. That’s why real independent people tend to deny the dating scene, and say to themselves ‘I don’t need another person to fulfill me.” Well, it’s not because they don’t want to be loved, it’s because to obtain this ‘consummate’ love, it is totally dependent on something or someone that is outside of their own physical body. A force or energy that operates outside of their will. They are not in control of everything afterall. And that feeling makes anybody of the independent soul weak. It makes one feel mortal again, when one has been living the immortal.
Note: I need to really give up on Valentine’s day. I really do. I’m just going to go to work next week, and whoever greets me with a “Happy Valentine’s” will find a ‘surprise’ in their coffee. Customers and workers alike. I am not and will not be a happy camper.
Comments (9)
AWESOME post, Nelle. I want to be your friend.
D
the photo of the building on your profile picture reminds me of the candy factory lofts on queen st west (nearby fressen… vegan restaurant).
nice legs.
You need to have an Anti-Valentines Day party. The idea here is that you get together w/ a bunch of single friends somewhere and do stuff non-valentines related. Anyone caught wearing red or pink, saying the V or L word, or generally doing anything that reminds you it’s v-day is doomed to drink shots. Also, whenever someone not from your party says the V word, you must all drink a shot to help you forget =P
and pls tell me which place you work at so i don’t find stuff in my coffee…thank you.
have fun.
Just like last year, I have a test on valentines day.
Therefore, come valentine’s day all I’ll be doing is studying — you practically forget it’s valentine’s day!
hehehe….sorry but couldn’t help to laugh at that little comment below the pic!! that’s so cute!! lolz…..
btw, there’s nothing wrong to feel “vulnerable” at times….we can’t always be in control cuz we’re not god!! =P
i think i’m staying home to cry all day…why won’t anyone let me be mortal?
The last time I celebrated Valentine’s was in 6th grade when I gave out cards to everyone in class. Everyone wanted to be my valentine then. What the hell happened?
Tegan and Sara, my fave Canadian lesbian sisters. I’ve seen them in concert twice!
Wow, those are some pretty deep thoughts for that one big paragraph. I bow down.