April 19, 2007
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She’s Blind as a Bat.
There’s J and then there’s me. We’re polarities. Okay, fine — not so much polarities, because otherwise, we wouldn’t be bestfriends. But on the political spectrum, I am neo-conservative, she is medieval conservative. Yeah, I would like to think that there is such conservativeness that exists, with J at least.
Now because J is the stuck up medieval conservative with standards, she happens to get all the flowers, all the dates, all the love letters, and anything that a prince charming in tights would do to please their princess. Yep, in other words, she gets all the dreamy guys that would worship the ground that she walks on.
On the other hand, me, the neo-conservative that gets pushed over to become a liberal at times, has somewhat of a standard, but please — you must doubt how much of a standard I have when I said “somewhat”. Anyway, she gets burned in every single way, and doors slammed in her face all, the, frikken, time. Does she learn? Yeah, she does — but slowly and painfully.
It seems like I will never find men that J attracts.
And it seems like J would never attract men that I would attract, because she sees the red flags to being with, and I do not.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have come to a conclusion that I am blind as a bat.
However, the twist to this all is that J always wanted the experiences and the wisdom that I have from choosing the wrong relationships. J constantly admires the solutions that I put on the table for any relationship problem. But what people don’t know is that, in order to be knowledgeable in playing games, in loving, in surviving, you must be burned, hurt, stabbed to know what is “bad” for you. Experience do not speak to those that have not been through trial and error, it’s not about how many bad dates you’ve avoided, but about the number of bad dates that you’ve been on — and what you’ve taken away from it.
So J, although you always wished that you had my knowledge, know that it’s a heavy price to pay. You wish to be in my shoes, yet I always wish that I was in your shoes so I would be able to find ONE. GOOD. GUY. And really, that’s all I am asking for. One.
Comments (15)
but you can pick up vibes from a mile away. now that’s skill.
sheeeeeee lives innnn my lappppppppp
Do you like guys that worship the ground you walk on? It’s a bit weird.
tuff up, chica. i will gladly help you in this department by burning you, slamming some doors in your face… ahh, i am so awesome…
AHAHAHAHA i was so confused when you say that… i’m like we broke up?!
and then i looked through your entries for my comment hahahaha and it all came back to me….
yup you became a memory to me… time heals all…
i’m not quite the worshippy type but meh i’m all good with it…nothing wrong with that I say..
I feel like ranting right now after reading your post. I always kind of wondered… are nice guys enough? Is being a good guy enough?
Your post reminds me of what I use to think between me and my best friend. Prince charmings will be at her door, showering her with gifts, sweet words and romantic promises. Then there’s is me in the first year… I keep on bumping into the sleezinest, biggest jack asses ever. I thought.. shiet, I will never find myself a good guy. WHAT THE HELL!?!?
Then somehow, in second year, I stumbled on now-my-ex and I realized that even though he’s an extremely nice guy (with flowers, notes, and helicopter rides), he also had flaws that would have affected the relationship greatly if we were to continue this long term. Like, I couldn’t really rely on him emotionally or mentally, or I find him not being able to prioritize correctly (choosing dance classes over volunteering opportunities that is suppose to help him in his policing career). And I remember once you told me how he’s a keeper — but I remember looking at that comment and thought how much of a keeper is he when he’s willing to spend all this money on you, but he’s not able to save any for himself? That in the end, you’re the one dealing with the consequences with his shortcomings.
Anyways, the point to this reply is that I realized I’m not looking for just “one nice guy.” Yes, I still need him to respect me, and willing to do things for me. But I’m not looking for the flowers, dates and letters anymore (it is still nice once in a while), but I’m realistically looking for someone who can compliment me in values, personality and priorities. I’m looking for someone I can grow with. And that one nice guy might be someone who is willing do things for you — but he might not be someone you can grow with…
But I do believe you will find yourself, not a particularly that one nice guy, but that one RIGHT guy that will have that right package to sweep you away. =p
aww. be like me. learn from other people’s mistakes.
I wish I could find men that your friend attracts. I always (feel like I) get the in-between guy, and even though everyone always tell me that they (one at a time, of course..) are keepers, I can’t ever be satisfied. Now, why is that?
You’re going out with Mayank?!!?!!?
Just read flyaway23′s comment… very true wrt last two paragraphs.
we’ve got everyone fooled don’t we cutie?
http://www.enotalone.com has great advice for all problems. if you suspect he’s bad news, check out the forum posts, and you’ll notice definite patterns, warning signs, etc.. i’ve found that tons of posts are responded to by mature, wise individuals who’ve been through a lot
ellen ellen ellen…
so you’re on facebook too? aren’t you going to add me?
when are you free. I really want to cook.
i dunno why we attract the guys we do…but that doesn’t mean i’ve never met sleazy jackasses before who *have hit on me surprisingly – example 1: grade 7. joshua wloshinsky. who touched me in such inappropriate places that i punched him so hard he winced. and i didn’t hold back.
“stuck up medieval conservative with standards” – every person has standards and the guy i’m seeing is the *FIRST guy who’s ever treated me well – you even said that yourself! i’m even frikken surprised that i’m so lucky. but no – this didn’t come from standards – it came from falling for him because he actually shows me that he cares. the flowers, letters whatevers are nice but that’s not what i’m looking for in a guy cause most guys these days are *actually pretty literate. i don’t have “standards” as to what they have to do to ask me out or anything – it’s not like “yea, he has to ask me under the stars or else i won’t say yes” <– that’s frikken ridiculous!
and it’s not so much that it’s “standards” – it’s more like having enough self respect to know what you deserve. i’m not saying that i deserve all the things that steven does for me – cause i don’t feel that i do at all…but just being respected is enough.
so i’m sorry you feel that way about me – but this has only been the *first time ever that this has happened to me – and it came from the feeling of waiting for something that would never happen. but the waiting pays off ellen. everything has a funny way of working out. at first, i actually *didn’t want to go out with him…how ironic how much i’m falling for him now – i thought he was *all wrong for me – so cocky, so smart, so over-confident – so high-maintenance, loud, obnoxious and very diff from the other guys i’ve fallen for and dated. so he’s a polar opposite to who i thought i was attracted to. but i took a chance and look how it turned out.
point: pick the polar opposite of who you fall for now. that’s an experience you need.
that one good guy came true didn’t he? but for some reason – it’s still not a happy ending for you.
so i conclude – we *think we know what we want – this ideal P.C – but once it comes true – it always falls short of what you thought it would be like – cause in the end – the only person – the only *sole person who can make you happy – is yourself.