May 25, 2007

  • Bikini-wini.


    In about a week and a half, my marketing group will be presenting. I will be strutting in front of my Marketing class in my strawberry-patterned bikini. No black bikini though – I don’t want to let the guys in class to fantasize too much and have sudden erections. (Everybody can tell by now that I would do anything for marks right? That is, except for all the dirty things that is going through your head right now. You pervert.)


    Dilemma is:
    - I have a week and a half to get myself in shape. That’s going to be hard work. Should I just cut down on the amount of Junior Chickens that I eat? (Body’s natural response: “Nahhh!”)
    - However, if I don’t shape up at an exponential rate, walking in with a bikini with a gut hanging out might just backfire. (Professor: “Gut hanging? Minus 50 points.”)


    There goes my A. You see the dilemma?


    So, Junior Chickens or Shaped-up body? And really, I doubt my body will even shape up that much, considering I never had the intent to exercise in the first place. Just let the body lose fat — naturally. (What? Your body doesn’t do that? Well mine does! Har Har!)


    ________________


    Complicated.


    Guys make my life really complicated. They really do. I used to be the complicated one, but not anymore. Who made me into a guy? Assholes along the way. But hey, I’m not complaining. Jaded is as jaded goes.


    All I want is a guy that will talk less, but talk when I command. And is good in bed and will make me a turkey sandwich after a good sac session. That’s it. THAT’S IT.


    Edit: Fine, I lied. On top of fixing me a turkey sandwich and not talking too too much, they have to be P.C material.

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