March 4, 2008

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    If anything, I think I have commitment phobia.
    However, commitment is also what I seek in romantic relationships.
    But then, you get too close to me, I’ll be avoidant.
    Too far, and I’ll have you as my constant pursuit.
    I blame all my attachment issues on my parents.
    I don’t think I was ever securely attached to either one of my parents.
    It was probably all the hitting.
    But for the most part, I think it’s because they never understood me for who I am,
    and what I’m really worth.
    And what i’m truly capable of.


    I seek nurture and commitment in others to compensate for the bad parenting.
    Is that bad?
    I think it’s my only way of survival.


     


    P.S I need new nails
    P.S.S It’s the boyfriend’s birthday today (March 3rd). Happy Birthday Dear.