April 29, 2005
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I think my father is a figure that i will always dispise and loathe. Not exactly the person, but the person in him. I just don’t understand where all that hate can come from one person. Always wishing that the world would suddenly bow down at his command, would suddenly see why he’s so angry all the time, would suddenly love him for who he is, would suddenly dissapear just because he hates everyone in it. I’ve never felt protection and comfort when sitted beside this man, yet I have to call him my provider. He’s been bless with four kids, but with that being said, we often wonder why God has burdened us with sucha man to love and look up to and forgive over and over again. His words pierces me like no other and my ears tingle with spitefulness when I hear him say some things he just does not have the right to say to mom. I can only come to comprehend how much pain mom is in right now. And I bow my head a little to tear just a little. Wonder why he had to torn this beautiful family apart. His egotistic-life has burdened altogether six lives. If he died today, may it be a beautiful release for the ones who were caught within this struggle. There is nobody in this world that I know that is more selfish than him.
“Go ahead, kill yourself. We’ve all become so numb from your shit, see if we give a fuck…”
Comments (5)
Parents have this ability to hurt us, but you build resistance over time.
hey there! it’s true, i haven’t talked to you in a while… i’ve been doing okay, i dropped one of my heaviest courses, so i’m alot more carefree… a good or bad thing i’m not sure, since it makes me alot lazier.. how about yourself?
SO i see you’re going to prom! y’see? i somehow knew you were going to go. but honestly, although everything is overpriced, and you probably will never wear that dress again, you’ll have fun, and it will be worth it.
so i’m glad to hear that you are going… we’ll swap stories and pictures afterwards.. haha : )
hey you,
right now i’m sitting in a subway station at mong kok (one of the busiest placest in hk) and i’m at an internet booth. i don’t have a computer at home yet-hopefully it’s gonna come tomorrow.
anyways just wanted to say that i gave your cell a ring 2 nights ago (i think) but you were probably working.
anyway, just wanted to say hi. i don’t know when i’m gonna get a chance to get on the computer again, but i figured i’d say hi since i have the chance.
ugh we need to get on plannign that… before summer.
AND TEA SOUDNS GOOOD. LEMME KNOW. =]
hey nelle, it’s okay. =) I know you’d eventually get back to me, the point is that you read the comment. =) hee hee hee. how was it? I’m so happy you’re coming to prom. It just wouldn’t be the same without you there. and we must take lots and lots of pictures together. =)) I want to remember you forever.
okay, talk with you soon hopefully,
stella.