Snow Day.

When I came home from work yesterday, I was greeted by a “snow-wall” outside my driveway which was barricading the entry, preventing my car to go in. In a failed attempt to just add gas and try to plow through it with a Honda Civic, I decided to give up and park on the side of the road and just shovel the darn snow.

Neighbour’s house.

Then I took a look around the neighbor’s driveways and they were all snow-walled too. I thought to myself, “If I couldn’t get in, then they probably wouldn’t be able to either.” So I decided to shovel the neighbour houses that surround mine. Six driveways in total, one being my own. Whether they were beside me, across me, adjacent to me, I did them all. I have never smelled sweat on myself before yesterday, and when I woke up this morning, my back felt like somebody threw bricks at it.

Mind you, my neighbours hate our household. It’s all my dad’s fault for being a really really big asshole. They hate us so much that they give my friends middle fingers when they come, and their very white kids that play street hockey, decides to play it on our driveway when we’re not home just so they can ruin our garage door.

Yeah. Do you have neighbours like that? Well I do.

So what drove me to shovel their driveways? I don’t know. It’s just the way I am. I guess “Love thy neighbours” is what I was thinking about the whole time I was doing it. And little bit probably has to do with the “Season of Giving”.

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Useless Wives.

BUT, onto another more important story that is based on this one, one of the housewives that saw me shoveling her driveway opened her door and said,

Her: “Hey, you’re shoveling my driveway”
Me: “Yeah I know” *resumes shoveling* “I just live right there”
Her: “Uh. You don’t have to do this.”
Me: “No no, I’m almost done, and I couldn’t get in my driveway, so I thought you probably couldn’t get in either”
Her: “Oh that’s very sweet of you. But I can just get my husband to do this.”

WHOA WHOA WHOA stop.

See. That’s a woman that I wouldn’t want to become. She can get her husband to do it? I almost wanted to give her my independent woman speech, but I decided to spare her so she wouldn’t feel bad about being a useless wife.

See, if it were me, my house would be immaculate in every aspect of it. If an unfortunate destiny falls upon me that I shall be a housewife, and ONLY a housewife, it would be that when my husband steps out the house every morning to win his bread, I would do EVERYTHING in the house so that when my husband comes home, he ain’t gonna have to do nothing but relax. He deserves it, you know?

Useless wife that has inefficient dress for cleaning tasks.

Anyway, don’t be a useless housewife.

Too much xanga lately. Think I’m gonna slow down a bit.

Hello Nelle

… sitting with Auntie Irene during Sunday morning sermon! She’s a church-going cat.


 
Yeaaah. That’s how we Canadians roll. Timmies wherever, whenever.

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Video Games.

If women really want to feel powerful, just get a video game console and just sit back and enjoy the power trip. Cause men, will always, bow down to women that play video games.

Just one time. One time needed. Of me asking the guy(s) to buy a PS3, they have all done so. (Try to get them to get you a present, different story.)

I said, “I play Little Big Planet. So buy it and play with me online!”
He said, “Too expensive.”
I said, “Get itttttttt!!! I want to play with you!”

He gets it. They get it.

Even if they don’t like it. They will say they like it. Just so they can play with you.

How can a guy possibly like this game? Even I got a bit offended when people kept on recommending this game for me. Apparently, I look like the type to play “cutesy” games. But you know what, all sarcasm aside, this game is actually fun when you play with TWO people.


Men that don’t like to drive to hang out with a girl?
Just add video games to the equation.

I said, “Come chill with me”
He said, “Mmmm, kind of trying to finish my work here.”
I said, “Come play video games with me”

Next thing you know… *ding dong* at my door.

I’m sure all you girls that play shooters online with a bluetooth would understand that once you speak into that mic and other male players, or should I say, all the players (which are pretty much all males) will suddenly crack their voices and piss their pants because rarely do girls play video games. Suddenly, you’re a goddess. You apparently never die because you have these wall of male players online “protecting” you. Suddenly, your phone number becomes something that is highly coveted, your message box is filled with the classic question ’a/s/l’? and the flirting… well, it becomes unbearable at times.

So yeah, ego boost? Definitely. Any female gamers want to justify my theory here?

Edit: I’m gonna justify my own theory!!
Last time I had a guy over my house to play video games, he just looked at me and said: “Ellen, you are amazing.” Thanks. I know.

 

 

I found this message amusing. He just sent me a one liner with no explanations to the underlying meaning of the phrase. So I did my best to interpret it with what I have been doing best in the past few days…

- Jp – says:
damn i want to play u

Nelle www.youtube.com/secretagentnelle says:
uhhh do you mean you want to play WITH me on ps3?

 

 

Bros Before Hoes.

Me: “So… do you agree with the saying ‘bros before hoes’?”
Him: “Naw. The wifey is always gonna be the wifey.”

After he said that, I couldn’t help but smile throughout the night.
Finally, somebody that understands.

Bros before hoes is probably the dumbest piece of mantra out there. If your ‘bro’ is really your ‘bro’, then he would understand that he doesn’t have a pussy and that he should sit his ass down because there is a difference between a ‘significant other’ and a friend. Just to clarify things, significant others will always come first. Hate to say it, but it’s true. Hence, the name: significant.

As a duty of a good friend, I have and always will understand if my best friends have to attend to their significant other. I will always be there for them, even if they’re not there for me at times. Unless I can provide sweet sweet love to my bestfriends male or female, then I shouldn’t be talking. There is a level of intimacy and love that I can’t provide as a friend as much as a significant other — unfortunately. So I understand when I am put second.

If the ‘bro’ happens to be a girl. Then the girl is just plain jealous. Also a bitch too for trying to fight for the equivalent importance of the “girlfriend” standing. If she were a real friend, she would step back and understand the dynamics of a relationship that girls can’t be too close to a guy that is attached and vice versa. Fail to obey this rule? Well, it’s just gonna ruin the friends’ relationship. Yeah, blame it on the girlfriend for being insecure because nothing was really happening, but if the guy is able to continuously choose friends over the girlfriend, then he wasn’t a good boyfriend to begin with.

Guys and stupid girls that believe in “bros before hoes” are losers.

 

Mistake #7483

Never ever open a joint account with ANYBODY, especially with your significant other, without having the statements mailed to your address every month.

… that way, when you guys break up, you can easily divide up the “assets” between you two.

You: “Uh. Ellen. Just go to the bank and ask the tellers to print the statements for you.”

Yeah, I fucking know that. Except Bank of Montreal has this archaic system that only shows me as much as I ALREADY know on my online statements. And to order previous monthly statements, I would have to pay $5. Whether it is $5 per statement or $5 flat rate, I told the FSR to shove it because I ain’t paying $5 for paper and for information that I should have access granted to me whenever I want. And…. they actually have to “download” the statements from month to month, which she said, takes a while (a day or two).

Woman, I got stuff to do!! BMO update your system will you?

Shit, I don’t even like TD bank, but I work there, and I kind of have to kiss ass once in awhile, but we have a system where I can see 7 years worth of transaction history on any account RIGHT ON THE SPOT.

Which means, I know what the hell you bought and did and all the porn you ordered online from 7 years ago.

Anyway, moral of the story: exes will always find a way to piss you off even when they are not actively involved in your life. Even worse is when they consolidate their statements, and then it takes incompetent CSRs/FSRs a very long time to “divide” the statements so that you don’t see the other person’s account.

Don’t be like me: ignorant. I just silently nodded my head at, “Hey baby, I’ll just have the statements mailed to my house okay?”. Because of my foolishness, now I have to waste my time going through administration bullshit.

So ladies, if you already have a joint account with your boyfriend/fiance/husband, get a copy of the statements yourself. So YOU know what’s coming in/out, and you can take charge of your finances the way you should.

Dear Life,


…guess what I did today?

- I said a loud “Thanks Mom” right before she dropped me off at work at 7:30am.
- Well, this wasn’t today. But I played video games with my brother yesterday night. And he kicked my butt in COD. Sigh.


Thought I’d just start early on my “New year’s” resolution.

 

Next Year.

I know, many of you don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions because quite frankly, whom we want to be and envision to be should be sought everyday with our greatest efforts in place — not only during the birth of a new year.

But sometimes, we need the excitement, hype, and motivation of the underlying meaning of “New Years = New start” to restore our mind set in the right path.

Next year, I want to see this happen in my life:

- spend more time with my brother
- tell my mom that I love her at least once (I don’t even remember when the last time was)
- say louder “thank yous” instead of just “mm.” when my parents do things for me
- get rid of this potty mouth!!
- give my grandma a hug and tell her that I love her.
- spend more time with God. (I fall asleep in the midst of my prayers… is that bad?)

None of it has to do with career or business and the reason why they’re not up in the list is because knowing my competitive nature, I don’t have to worry about career or business ever fighting to be on top of my priority list. They will always have a time in my day where I will devote my full efforts to it. (Anyway, I have enough reminders in the day to tell me that I have to keep chasing this idea of “success” to live a “happy” life. School does that pretty well.)

It’s the people that put up with my attitude, that love me unconditionally that I always forget about. Always so easy to mistreat. Always so easy to close the door on. Always so easy to throw tantrums and curse at. And the worse part is — I always get away with it.

I have all my life to make money. But people aren’t always gonna be around.

So I better get started on this realization…

Ride With Me.

Hello Nelle rides with her mommy.

It’s like an episode of Britney Spears and baby Jayden isn’t it? Except, I’m a better mommy. At least I got my baby strapped down.